Today is November 21, seven days after my son’s 13th
birthday. Yes, my lil big man turned thirteen on November 14, 2013. As you can
tell he was a millennium baby as his age is synced with changing of the years,
but I'm not writing about him today. I am focusing this blog on his father who
has been missing from his life for 10 years now. I could call him a deadbeat dad
or trifling, but that won't serve a purpose. It will only make me seem bitter
and angry, and I am so past that now. I have made a conscious decision to let
go of the anger, hurt and disappointment my son's father has caused my son and
me over the years. I came to this conclusion about a few months ago but it
really sunk in a couple days after my son's birthday, because he didn’t receive
anything from his father.
My
child was hurt and disappointed, and yes I was angry as hell but I realized
something and that was my son is doing just fine without his father. There's no
need for me to stress about his father not coming through for him on his
birthday, Christmas or any other time. Yes, it's hard for me to raise him on my
own but by the Grace of God and help from my family I'm doing it and, if I have
to say so myself I'm doing damn good job. I came to understand I can't make my
son’s father be the father I want him to be for our son. Or that I can’t make
or force him to take a more emotional and financial responsibility for our son.
All I can do is be the best damn single mom and parent for my son, and just let
go of all the anger, hurt and disappointment. That is exactly what I'm going to
do and I said so in a letter I wrote to my son's father.
I
explained to him that I forgive him for not being there for our son and me, and
I wish well in his life. I know this is for the best because letting go of this
past hurt will allow an abundant blessings and peace to enter my son’s life and
my life.
