A Son's Disappointment

Today is Sunday, November 22 and it is one week and one day after my son's 9th birthday, and he still did not recieve anything from his father for his birthday. He was hurt, sad and said that his dad had lied to him about sending him money for his bithday. Which he did. His father had called to tell me that he accidentally mailed the birthday card to himself and had to remail it, well that was on a Friday, November 13 and my son should have gotten it on Monday or Tuesday, but still no card. All week long my son went to the mailbox looking for that card and everyday he was disappointed and hurt. It just broke my heart to see his little face with that sad expression on it and tears building in his eyes. I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe his father was going to send him something and to tell him to look for it. I also played apart in my son's disappointment, but no more. When his father calls to tell me he sent our son something, I am going to keep it to myself until I see it with my own eyes and then I will tell him about it. I never want to see my son disappointed like that again as long as I can help it.

Recovering From My Son's Birthday!

Today is November 16, 2009, just two days after my son's birthday party and let me tell you that I am still a little tired from it. I didn't know how much hosting a child's birthday party can take out of you. I had to to stay in on Sunday and rest, because I was so tired and my feet hurt from standing and walking around so much I just needed a day off. I can say that the party went well without any problems, even though I invited ten children to the party and only five of them showed up for it. I was kind of disappointed, but my son was happy and that is all that matters for me. I was happy that he had a good time and he was happy with his party. It really doesn't take much to make my son happy, but I just wanted his 9th birthday to be special for him and I guess I did that for him on Saturday. 

If I have to say so myself I think I through a pretty good party for my son's birthday on Saturday. The theme of the party was Bakugan Battle Brawlers, because that is what my son is into now. I had the tablecloth, cups, plates. napkins all of it with Bakugan on it, plus his cake which was cupcake cake of 24 was decorated in the same theme of Bakugan. Also at the party I served pizza, chips, soda, and ice cream. And each child went home with a goody bag of candy and toys. So I say  the party went all right for the two hours I hosted it. Yes, it was alot to clean up, but I had my mother to help me with the clean up duty. So I guessed I lucked out there. Now that the party is over, I am happy and now thinking about what I do for his 10th birthday next year.

Still Looking For A Job

Well, today is Thursday, November 12, just two days before my son's nineth birthday and one day after T-Mobile was to contact me to let me know of I got the job or not. Can you guess what happen with the job? Well, let me tell you that I was not contacted by T-Mobile on Wednesday, so therefore I did not get the job. Am I upset, yeah a little but I had prepared myself for not getting the job just in case, so I wouldn't mope around my home depress and all. I look at as this was not the right job for me, so leads me open to recieve and find the right job and career for me. So I havewent back to the drawingboard and filling out applications, calling around to see who is hiring for the holidays and searching the web for jobs. I have posted my resume on three job finding sites, they are HotJobs.com, CareerBuilders.com and BetterJobsUpState, and hoping my luck will change with them. But I have made up mind that I am not going to let this weak job market get me depress and keep me down any longer. I am going to have faith that I am going to find a good job that will let me live and take of my son the way I want to. I am going to keep my head up and keep looking toward the future, because I know one day my dreams and prayers will be come true.

Nervous About An Interview

Today is Thursday, November 5, 2009 and I have an interview today at a T- Mobile retail store. I know that it's a seasonal job that want want last long, but it is a job. I am just so happy that I was called in for an interview and I hope that I do get the job today or called back for a second interview. I am a realist so, I want get my hopes up to far, but I believe my luck is beginning to change for the better. It has been a long time since, I have been called in for an interview or even had a good outlook on getting a job in these last few years. So here I go today out into the working world to try and land me a job today. I am so nervous today about this interview because, like I said it's been awhile and I don't know much about cell phone technology, but I am a quick learning. I am going to look up some information about T- Mobile before I go to my interview so, I will have a little knowledge about the company. Well, let me get off this blog, so I can get ready for this interview this morning. Wish me luck today.

Not Smarter Than An Seventh Grader

Today I went to one of my city's local OneStop offices to take a practice test of applied mathematics and guess what I failed the practice test with a score of 60. But this was not my first time taking this practice. I took this test over a week ago and failed it then also with a score of 40. Can you image how bad I felt, because this test is telling me that I have no more than a seventh grade or eighth grade level of math skills, but that is impossible. I graduated from high school and no I was not push through, and I even went on to college to study English and Sociology. I mean I even passed my high school exit exam the first time around, so can my math skills be at such a low level. To be honest I never liked math in school and I did struggle just a little in tenth grade, but I passed that class and all my other math classes to meet the requirements I needed to graduate from high school. And yes I know I have been out of high school for fourteen years, but my math skills should not be that rusty. I just feel so bad about not passing this test, but I will be taking it again next week and hopefully this time I will pass it. See this is just 1/3 of a bigger test I have to take which is the WorkKeys test, that all clients of OneStop must take to show future employers and our caseworker our abilities and basic knowledge. Math is the only part of the practice test I keep failing, the other parts of the test, such as reading for information and locating information, I passed with excellent scores. In these two areas I was above average. So you can see how frustrated I am about this test. I just hope that next week I can pass this part of the practice test, so I can move on and take the real one.

Too Scared To Fail !!!!

Today my son brought home all his schoolwork from last week, which he does every Tuesday. In this pile of schoolwork he all the test he had took last week and his homework, all the grades were good except one. The grade that was not so well was a Social Studies test that he took and got a 45/F on it. I was disappointed and mad at him, because we had went over the material three times before he took the test and thought I he had, but I guess he didn't. So that means we have to study a little harder and that's cool. But I am not writing about that, what I am writing about is what he did before I even looked at the test. He told me to hold on and he ran to his room to get his belt, so he could give it to me inorder for me to whip him for making a bad grade. I just looked at him and took the belt and put it away. I told him that I was not Joe Jackson and that I would never beat or whip him for making a bad grade. And do you what he told me, he said that other parents whip their kids for making bad grades in school. I had to tell him that I was not other parents and that I would never do that to him. I was just wondering if other parents out there whip or beat their child for not making good grades in school. And if they understand the damage that they are causing their kids. I don't believe in whipping my child and especially for not passing a test. I don't ever what him to think that he has to do well in school for me to love him and that if he doesn't then I want care for him and that he makes me so mad that I have to whip him. I tell him to try his best on every test he takes and that if he fail, then that means we have to study harder to remember the material so that he will get right on the test. I hope parents understand that school is hard enough without dealing with the fear of getting whipped or beaten because of making bad grades on a test or a report card.

Doing Right By My Son !!!!!

Yes, it's been almost a month since, I last blogged but alot has been happening in my life that I had to think about and get right with before I started blogging again. The first real major concern, that I had was if I was going to take my son's father for child support. I had to consider all my options, before beginning this process, because I didn't want to begin it and then change my mind about the situation. See this is how the story goes, my son's father has not been a part of  his life for the last six years and has not been supporting him for the last seven months.  Just a few months ago I learned  that my son's father has two other children by two other women, which makes my son a big brother. This threw me through a loop, because for the longest time I thought my son was a only child for his father. I will be honest with you and say hell yeah I was mad as F*ck when I found this out, because his other children are just eight and seven years old, and my son is only nine years old ( birthday 11/14), So you can see why I was mad and yes, even hurt, because I was mad a fool by my son's father. But then my anger and hurt intensified, because I thought about the  hurt my son has been going through these last six years not seeing his father and the lies I told my son about hs father to keep him looking like a good daddy in his son's eyes and heart. My anger and hurt turned into a strong determination to fight for  what is owed to my son by his father, and to make  his father take responsibility for his child. So yesterday, I started the process for taking my son' s father for child support. I filled out the application with all the information I had on him and now I all I can do is just wait for my lawyer to call and tell me what's next for me to do. I know this is the right thing to do for my my son, but I have a strange feeling this case might get ugly, because neither one of us has custody of our son, but he lives with me and always have. I don't know what to expect when this goes to court, but I will be ready for anything. 

My Son is Smarter Than I Think He Is

This morning I got up and got my son ready for school and me for another day of mother duty. After dropping him off at school (he was late by 5 mins.), I was on my way to begin my day. I started of by washing clothes, then I helped my grandmother out with some official business, once that was done I was on my way home. Here at home I am cleaning my house to get ready for inspection next week. I hate when they do inspections, because they always be looking for the smallest thing to be wrong and write you up for it. I try my best to pass inspection and I do all the time. I just hate having my housekeeping been judged by my landlord and others. I would love to go see how they keep their house clean with children, working and other things that take up your time. But I don't want to talk about that, I want to talk about something my son said and did at school the other day. I was talking to mom and grandmother about my son and what he told his speech teacher on Wednesday and how it made me laugh, because it was so funny. He told his teacher that his dad was a bad man, because he cheated on me and had two other kids and that he married another woman. When he told me that all I could do was laugh, because i didn't know my son was paying that much attention to the adults in his life, but he is and he understands what is going on in his life. He might got got some of the details wrong, but he got majority right. His father did have two more kids, but by two different women. So his father has three baby moms, instead of one. And he didn't marry either one of the women. And yes he did cheat on me, because the second child which is a boy was born five months after my son. I ask my son does he still love his father even though he is a bad man and he said yes, I still love him. My eight year old son proved to me that day. that he knows more than I think he does and that he is paying attention to what I say and do about his life and mine.

A Regular Old Thursday

There is nothing much going on today, but me paying a couple of bills and taking my son to speech therapy at CDS. I take him to speech every Thursday after school to help with his speech impairment that he was diagnosis with when he was three years old. He's been going to speech therapy for the last six years and recieves speech also at school twice a week. He's come along with his speech since he first started going to CDS in 2003. I'll get into what his speech impairment in another blog, for now I must go.

Education Is Important!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, President Obama gave a speech to to the school children of this nation and many parents chose not to let their children see the speech or schools chose not to show it to their students. I was very disappointed to find out that my son's school here in Greenville, SC chose not to air the speech during school, but taped it and parents had the chose to watch it with their children during PTA tonight at the school. I chose to show my son the speech online when he came home from school, because I thought the message of the speech was one that was positive and inspiring to our youth today. I talked to my son about the speech and asked if he understood any of it and he did, the other parts I had to explain it a little more to him. But he understood that if you fail a test that it doesn't mean that you are stupid, but that you have to study a little harder to get that good grade. That message alone is good one that kids should hear. I also watched "Get Schooled" on BET, with my son to show him that a good education can open doors to career paths you never dreamed of before. I believed that the speech and the show are good tools to help motivate our youth to be better than before and to strive for a better education that can help them achieve their dreams.

On the Hunt for a Job

Today I had an appointment at our local OneStop office with my caseworker at 9:30 a.m. this morning and I can say that I might not be eligible to go through their program, because I have been out of work for the last six years. No it's not because I am lazy or haven't been looking, because I have. It's because I am limited in where I can work and the time I can work. See I don't have a car and the local bus dosen't run near my apartment complex like it use to, so I have to depend on my brothers to run around before they go to work or when then are off or on the weekends. I don't want to be a bother to them, because they already do so much for me. Then there is the time I can and can not work. I want to work in the mornings, because my son is school and I have that time free to work. I just need to be able to get off by 2 p.m., so that I can be home for my son when he gets out of school at 2:30, becasue i don't really have anyone to watch my son while I work. Then there is the matter that I need to be off every Thursday, so that I can take my son to speech therapy. All these issues seems to be problems and obstacles for me gettng a job. So I want someone to tell me what I am suppose to do.

School Days.

It's been almost two weeks, since I last posted a blog and I am sorry for that. I could say that I have been busy, but I want make that excuse. It's just that I am new to this blogging and when I am about to blog something comes up or time gets way from me. But anyway, here is my second blog and I hope that you like it.

Well it makes two weeks into the new school year for my son and so far everything is going smoothly. This week and for the next couple weeks the school will be participating in taking the standardize Map Test that will focus on Math and Reading skills of second graders thru fifth graders. I don't really like these test, but I guess it's necessary for them to take these test. Anyway my son's school has already started their fundraiser this year. And the fundraiser only last two weeks. I have my mom helping me sell it and her job and at church. Also I got a letter from his school telling me that a child at the school has Hepatitis A and that I might need to take him to the doctor to get a vaccine shot. So, I guess I will take him this Friday after he gets out of school.

My First Time!!!!!!!!

Get your head out of the gutters and dirty thoughts out of your mind. I am not talking about my first time in having sex, but my first time in blogging. I really never have done this before, so you will have to take it easy on me. I mean I love to write and I write about basiclly anything that moves me, but I never have blogged in my life unless you count the three notes I have on my Facebook page or the entries I have on MySpace, Playlist.com or Iseecolor. So I guess I have blogged, but this will be the first time I blog about myself, my son and my life. I am kinda private and don't like my business all out there, but I guess there will be no harm in talking about the obstacles, pain and joys of being a single mother. And one of those joys is my eight year old son, Nasir. He is mama's little man and I hate to say it, but my son is fine and is going to be a heart breaker when he grows up. Today was the first day of school here in Greenville, SC and he started third grade today. He is so nervous about starting third grade. He says he is not ready for third grade and that it might be too hard for him. But I told all he has to do is study hard and try is best, and everything will be fine. I also told him that he has a secret weapon and that is me, because I am pretty smart and I can help him with his homework. I am so excited for him. I always get this way when school starts back up, because I loved school when I was in elementary school. I loved to learn new things and still do. I just I hope have passed that thirst of knowledge on to him.